HiddenStream

So, yeah. It has been quite some time. I am not quite sure what has been wrong with me lately. I am not writing. Not painting. Not singing. Not much of anything besides school and well, yeah.

It seems that this is the same thing I write over and over all the damn time. “School this…school that.” I am beginning to despise that my education has taken over my existence. I am losing my balance, losing sanity, and losing my relationships. All I do is read, go to class, and study. What good is all this information that I am acquiring if I have no one to share it with? No one to go out and have fun with. All there is in my life is The University of West Georgia. Blah. I hate it, but I also need to do it. I understand the amount of time I need to invest to do well, but my friends sometime do not. They complain of my lack of social activity, and I don’t know what to do. I wish I could go out and fun every night, but I just can’t. For God’s sake, it is only the second week of school and I am horribly behind. I have lots of obligations. Too many really. I can’t be everywhere all the time. Can’t be everything to everyone.

All I really know is to keep going to class. Everything could fall down around me, and I would probably still go to class.

I am beginning to think I may have a problem….a sickness. I may care too much about school. I may be an overachiever. Hmmm, people are beginning to pull away…and all I care about is f*ing grades.

*Oh on a completely different and much more positive note: I finally quit smoking. I finally did it….I am so unbelievably proud of myself, and come to think of it, the lack of nicotine may be part of the reason this post is so grumpy. Who knows.

5 whole days without a single ciggerate. This is amazing. I used to smoke a pack and a half a day. I had just had enough. Done done done.

Yays!