HiddenStream

So, writing publicly has become a thing of the past. For a little under a year, I have kept my blog posts private, and limited to very few other readers. I am not sure why I have done this. I am not sure I have the time to begin writing publicly again. But, I have decided to give it yet another shot.

I am at work. We will see if posting is possible today in the midst of my busy schedule.

I am as ugly as I seem
Worse than all your dreams
Could ever make me out to be
And it makes me want to scream
When it’s Halloween
And the kids are laughing
The rogue is a bank he’s never broke
But worth as much as a joke that no one is laughing at

Can you believe some things are not
Appealing and there’s a spot
On the ceiling of my childhood bedroom
And can these dreams you can’t imagine
Will never match the vision
That you had decided for me
You are to take away from me
Things that are mine and it’s not your right
Out that you’d wouldn’t expect to find out
Can it be that I don’t want what you want?
And the only thing I could care for
Is a place in a home that is safe and warm
Safe and warm, safe and warm, safe and warm

Judge yourself if you feel the need
Just let me known to be
In search of the truth myself
There is a drop of blood on the ground
And it seems to me that it’s not my kind
And I can’t be sure if it’s yours or mine

I am as ugly as I seem
Worse than all your dreams
Could ever make me
Could ever make me
Could ever make me
Could ever make me

This song came on right after I posted my last post (which I decided to make private), and I stopped crying for a moment.

The Heart Of Life

“I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There’s things you need to hear
so turn off your tears
and listen

Pain throws your heart to the ground
love turns the whole thing around
no it wont all go the way
it should
but I know the heart of life is good

You know it’s nothing new
bad news never had good timing
then the circle of your friends
will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
love turns the whole thing around
fear is a friend who is
misunderstood
but the heart of life is good
I know its good, I know its good”

- John Mayer

I wish I could be a demolition derby driver. Plain and simple. It will never happen, but something inside of me really wants it to! Sometimes when I am driving, I imagine myself ramming my car into the back of other’s vehicles, and the country girl inside of me smiles. Haha, maybe I have these imaginings because I drive too often in Atlanta traffic, or perhaps I have an anger management problem. Who knows, it was just a random thought.